First Hate
by GoodDayKindSir
Summary: Rachel was fed up. Rachel was done. Rachel was certain that this was a night of a betrayal


Hello readers! So this is the first in a four part series. I know, I don't do chaptered works well, but maybe a series will work. This is a bit of a rougher, more mature story, but I am rating it as teens because I am aware of how teenagers talk. So I hope you enjoy it. The next part should be in later this week.

Happy Reading and Happy Back to School,

-Sami

Truthfully they had never discussed how she felt about him and him about her. It was silent, as was a ripple in a pond. Something no one would notice unless they looked close enough.

They had met in elementary school and had grown up together. She had trusted him and he had held that trust carefully. She had fallen in love with him. He didn't know. Only her best friends knew. Eventually she got over him. It happened. He dated and she dated. They were never together so the childhood love molded into a moment frozen in time. A trophy of her girlhood. It was precious.

Until now.

Mere days after the conclusion of high school he had found her at a summer party. One week before she was set to go to New York. He grabbed and grinded against her, whispering the things he wanted to do to her.

She received no pleasure from his actions. Despite this, he knew all the right things to say. She was beautiful. She had always turned him on. She felt his arousal on her thigh. She felt dirty. She couldn't do what he asked.

He pleaded for release, promising a long distance relationship. She didn't want it, yet she didn't know how to say no.

This was Finn. Her first love. Yet every word felt tainted with drunken desire that could be filled with any girl. Whereas he was someone to her, she was no one to him. He touched her, her body cringed as he tried to get her active. She couldn't.

Luckily someone had called to talk to him, his words, "We finish this later," plagued her.

After he left she quickly ran to find her friends. First she found Mercedes. She was quick to explain the situation to her friend. The girl was vicious in exchange for trust.

"Well finally, the great prude is going to lose her virginity!"

"Mercedes…." Rachel was shocked.

"Don't get me wrong Rach, I love you, but you don't want to be the only virgin in your dormitory."

"But I don't want to lose my virginity yet," Rachel whispered. This had always been the debate for her, should she follow societal norms or follow her heart and here was her friend, pushing her to go against who she was. Worse, she considered Mercedes one of her best friends.

"Come on Rachel, don't be like 'Rachel Berry', you have to lose it sometime, you might as well lose it now."

"Are you stupid Jones?" the two girls turned to look at the angry face of Santana Lopez.

"Oh come on Lopez, she should lose it!"

Santana shook her head, "Not if she isn't ready. Sex is special each time, it shouldn't feel wrong."

"That is rich coming from the girl that should wear an 'Always Open' sign."

The two girls were now standing face to face.

"Your right Jones, I have a lot of sex and I enjoy it, but I do not have it if I or the other person has a shred of doubt about participating. Not only that, but it is Rachel's first time. It should be with someone special."

"Its Finn Hudson, her first love, could it be any more 'special'."

"It could, be she should want it."

Rachel Barbra Berry watched in awe as Santana Maria Lopez defended her. The two girls had never spoken before and yet the Cheerio was defending the Gleek. It was peculiar.

Suddenly Finn Hudson barged through the kitchen, "Rachel, babe, lets finish what we started."

Here was her choice, follow the trend or follow her heart. The answer clear as she turned to glare at one Finn Hudson, "No! You are and I are done!" she then turned to look at her once best friend, "And you Mercedes? I cannot believe that I ever considered you my best friend. You are a bitch who doesn't love me, you just want to conform me. I will have you know, I am happy as I am."

The two people being criticized quickly left, leaving Rachel Berry holding back her tears.

Santana watched the brunette held in her emotions. She didn't know Rachel, but she knew betrayal. She knew it hurt, particularly when it was by the people one loves the most. In one swoop Rachel Berry had lost her best friend and her first love.

"Hey Berry," she grabbed the girls hand, "Why don't you come hang with Brittany and I?"

Rachel shook her head, "No offense, but I don't want to be a third wheel tonight."

"You won't be. Berry you just lost your friends, you could use some new ones and I for one think Brit and I are quite the pair."

"But….."

"No buts. Your pretty badass, your proud of yourself, and Brittany loves you based on how much she talks about you."

Rachel chuckeled, "I will never understand how she got into AP Lang."

Santana laughed at this as well, "It is one of the seven wonders of the world."

"Thanks Santana."

"You know what Berry? Your different and you shouldn't be ashamed of that."

With that, the two girls left the room to locate Brittany.

Later when sitting with her two new friends Rachel cried. She cried for lost friendship, she cried for lost love. She cried for the loss of her innocent mind that believed in her untainted first love. She cried for the sixth grader who lost her first love.

She cried for the horrible end of an era, for high school didn't end with satisfaction but rather the boiling pain of adulthood. The hurt of losing two precious things and it destroyed her.

Yet it also seemed to follow a pattern. How in the world could she enjoy the life that she had lived now that her first love had tried to use her and now that she had lost her best friend. She couldn't, so she buried her childhood in the ashes of lost loves.

Out of those ashes came something much more precious. Here, as she cried, sat two girls she had never quite spoken too. Two girls who were moving to New York as well. Two girls who she could live with as she created her future stardom.

Mercedes always told her that her dreams were to lofty. Finn always discouraged her leaving. She knew Santana and Brittany would do no such things as they softly whispered in her ears, "They are idiots. They know nothing about you. You are worth so much more then they will ever be. They are just jealous that you are following your dreams."

Rachel learned to be proud of who she was, for just as quickly would people insult her, new people would come to her defense. Santana respected her for her morals, just as long as she didn't insult Santana for hers. As long as she had faith in herself she was fine.

Yes. She had lost a lot in one night, yet she would gain more.

As the night drew to a close the girls promised to meet up soon and start looking for apartments in close proximity to Julliard (for Brittany), Columbia (for Santana), and Tisch (for Rachel).

The next week they would find an apartment. Two days after that they would go furniture shopping. One week later they would all move to the city together.

As easily as Rachel Berry had lost innocence, a best friend, and first love she had gained maturity, two best friends, and as for first love…..well that is another story.


End file.
